I have the Blahhs....

 I have the writing blahhhhhs. I have had a numerous mix of emotions in class these days, and I feel like it exhausts me. Not the class, the thought of writing about it, which is weird, because normally I love writing. Last week, I was having a tough week emotionally, I was fighting with my husband, I was worried about the business, I was hating my job, etc. etc. When I came out of my camel posture, I started to cry, it was very intense, and that kind of emotional response has never happened for me. But I welcomed it. I thought of it as a blessing, really. How lucky I am to have an outlet like that. I can take everything that comes up for me in class and I can leave it on the mat. And I did. I came out of there feeling ten times lighter. It felt good. Just talking about it now makes me wish I was there. I haven't been able to go since weds. of last week.
Tomorrow morning can't come soon enough. When I am rich, I am building my own studio and I am going to hire an instructor to live there and teach me yoga whenever I want!!! :)
Namaste

Picture yourself in Perfect Radiant Health

A phrase which my dear friend and Bikram instructor, Allie, says often at the end of class, I guess I never really heard her before, I mean, I heard her, I just never really HEARD her. Its amazing what a mental shift will change in your body. I had been picturing myself lying there, in my final rest ( savasana, not death ) In perfect physical health, perfectly aesthetic, picture perfect looking. I realized the other day, that the health that I want is inner. Peaceful mind, peaceful organs, the rest will come after those things are developed. Little tiny things have been changing in my practice lately. I injured my back somehow last Weds. Blame it on lifting, or bending or tweaking or what have you, it was excruciating, I was almost in tears, I had the same sciatic pain when I was pregnant this last time. I thought of going to yoga on Weds evening, and if it hadn't been for the terrible fear I had of sitting in the car for that long with this pain, I would have. Instead, I opted to stay home and sit on the couch, and then, go to work the next day. All of those ideas were bad. By the time I got back to Bikram on Fri. morning, I was thoroughly convince that I was going to die on the first back bend.
But alas, I did not die.
In fact, aside form my opposite side shoulder being tighter than I would have ever imagined, my injury gave me little grief.
I LOVE YOGA
I LOVE YOGA
I LOVE YOGA
SERIOUSLY.
I felt so much better after class, I kicked myself for not going back on Weds eve, I would have saved myself 48 hrs of agony.
Today, I noticed little things that were changing in my postures, teeny tiny, seemingly insignificant things, I put less weight in my hands in standing head to knee, my knee came closer to my shoulder in wind removing pose, I grabbed way higher on my forearms in the last part of wind removing, tiny little things that seem small but made me so happy.
So from now on, I am picturing my inner physical body in perfect, radiant, flowing smoothly health. I will let the rest follow in the footsteps. The outer looks will be as the hands are in tree pose, just the icing on the cake. Let this philosophy spill over into all other aspects of your life, picture you life in perfect health, your kids, your job, your loved ones, anything you want is attainable, if you can imagine it, you can do it. Look for it, then your body will follow.
Namaste.

Bikram/Addiction

When i first started this practice a few years ago, I had made a New Years resolution to stop smoking, the yoga not only replaced my addiction to nicotine, but it also helped my body detoxify at a quicker pace which made it easier to kick the habit. So I started to think, what a great way to treat addiction. Imagine if there were a state funded Bikram studio for people battling with drug and alcohol addiction....
Hmmmm.....
I may put my mothers grant writing ability to good use here, if only I could find a rich philanthropist to send me to teacher training....
I sense a project coming on.
Namaste